Playing Matchmaker
by Ebony-Jayne
Summary: Dr. Gregory House uses blind stubbornness to get what he wants. So does his niece. And Pippa House wants to get her Uncle a girlfriend... will be mild HouseCameron later on.
1. Pippa House

Title: Playing Matchmaker

Author: Ebony-Jayne

Notes: Greg House is notorious for being persistent and as stubborn as hell when he wants something. When he takes in his niece and her baby girl, his team find out that it is a trait that runs in the House family…

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show or the storylines on the show. I do, however, own the characters that I make up so please don't steal them. Any resemblance to anyone or anyplace is a coincidence.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Chapter One: Pippa House

"Ok differential diagnosis?" Dr. Gregory House stood beside the whiteboard, cane in one hand and blue marker in the other.

"Uh, House? Who's that?" Dr. Allison Cameron pointed to a pretty, sandy-haired girl standing in the doorwayholding a baby capsule.

"Damn it Pippa I told you not to come within a mile of my workplace. You'll ruin my image," House was on the verge of whining.

"I know," the girl stood unblinking, swapping the baby capsule from her left hand to her right.

"Well why are you here then?" he asked impatiently.

"We went through this, this morning. Bubs and I are due for a quick check-up," the girl said in utter exasperation.

"Had to come here didn't you?" House said snarkily. He turned to his team. "Children this is Pippa. Pippa these are my minions," House introduced.

"Hi," Pippa rolled her eyes at House. "He's my Uncle," she elaborated.

"Hi. I'm Allison Cameron-," Cameron began.

"Can we get on with this?" House interrupted. "I'd like to find out what's wrong with my patients while they're still alive," he told her.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to interrupt people while they're talking," Pippa asked him. "Nice to meet you," she smiled. She shot another smug grin at House, who was sulking as he wrote his own ideas on the whiteboard.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"Coxsackievirus A16 and Staphylococcus Aureus," a triumphant House told Dr Lisa Cuddy.

"Congratulations. Why are you here telling me this when you usually just leave Dr. Cameron to do the paperwork for you and leave it on my desk?" she asked tiredly. If House wanted a verbal sparring match tonight he wasn't going to get one.

"Unfortunately I need to…ask you for something," House seemed to cringe at the very thought of asking her for a favor.

"Ask me for what?" Cuddy asked, intrigued.

"I have a family drama!" House sounded proud of himself.

"I didn't know you had a family. I thought you would have scared them all off by now," Cuddy said sarcastically.

"Look. My niece really needs a job. I wanted to hire her as an office assistant," House said seriously.

"And you're actually asking me?" Cuddy acted overly surprised.

"Look, Pippa really needs this job. I'm doing this right because otherwise she could wind up on the street again and believe it or not she's the onlyliving family memberthat I like," House told her.

"Bring her in so I can talk to her. I'll sort it out for you," Cuddy told him seriously. She thought he must really like this niece to swallow his enormous ego to get hera job.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"Hi I'm Lisa Cuddy. You must be Pippa House," Cuddy said to the young girl sitting in her office.

"Yes I am. This is Sophie," Pippa said gesturing to the sleeping baby in her arms.

"Well Pippa I talked to the necessary people and they have agreed to create this job for you. I think that Doctor Cameron will be thrilled not to have to do all of his jobs as well as her own every morning," Cuddy told her. She was surprised to see the girls face light up.

"Oh my god. Thank you so much for this," She smiled hugely.

"That's not a problem honey. Can I ask how you ended up living with House though?" she asked curiously.

"My dad kicked me out when he found out I was pregnant with Sophie. I lived in a shelter while I was pregnant but they wouldn't let me back once I'd had the baby. So I asked Uncle Greg if I could stay with him while I got on my feet. I have a trust fund my grandparents left me but I can't touch it until I'm twenty-one. He may be an arrogant, stubborn bastard but he does have a heart under all of that," Pippa explained. She noticed Cuddy eyeing her baby. "Want to hold her?" she asked.

"Yeah I do," Cuddy admitted. She held out her arms and Pippa placed the baby in them. "I haven't held one this little for a while," she smiled as little Sophie attempted to stick her entire fist into her mouth.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Greg House watched from a distance as his niece placed her tiny baby into his boss's arms. He watched as they talked animatedly. He'd always had a soft spot for his youngest niece because she was so much like him. People thought he was the definition of a royal bastard but they'd never met his brother Graham. He'd always treated his youngest daughter like scum and he hadn't been surprised when Pippa and Sophie had turned up on his doorstep a few days before. She was as miserable and could be a horrible and misanthropic as he was. He rolled his eyes at his thoughts. _'She's going to be the death of my reputation,'_ he thought to himself in disgust.

-HOUSE M.D.-

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	2. Forming A Plan

Title: Playing Matchmaker

Author: Ebony-Jayne

Notes: Pippa starts scheming and recruiting people to help hook up House and Cameron as she starts her new job as House's assistant...

Sorry it's short and took so long to update. I'm busy as hell right now and only managed to get this one up during a night of insomnia. I'll try and get more up soon.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show or the storylines on the show. I do, however, own the characters that I make up so please don't steal them. Any resemblance to anyone or anyplace is a coincidence.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Chapter Two: Forming A Plan

"Hey Uncle Greg?" Pippa called into House's office.

"Do me a big favor and call me 'House' at work. You have to understand that people here fear me. It works in my favor; they all do my bidding because they're terrified of the consequences. If you go around calling me 'Uncle Greg' then they aren't as scared. They can't think that I am even slightly human," House ranted. Pippa stared at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Okayyyy. Wouldn't want you to lose your rep now would we," she flicked her long hair back. "That oncologist guy Wilson? He told me to give you this," Pippa handed him a folded piece of paper. House took it and read it: _'When are you going to learn to read your own mail you lazy bastard?' _House growled and grabbed a pen. He wrote his answer on the piece of paper.

"Give that back to him," he ordered.

"Ok. But he's standing-," Pippa didn't get a chance to finish.

"If I gave it to him it wouldn't be any fun would it? Shoo," he told her waving his cane in her general direction.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"He told me to give this to you," Pippa handed the piece of paper back to Wilson. _'I'll read my own mail when you stop cheating on your wives'. _

"He really thinks he's funny doesn't he?" Wilson asked Pippa, bemused by his response.

"Mmm," Pippa nodded.

"You must be the niece that everyone is talking about. I didn't catch your name," Wilson stared at Pippa.

"Pippa House," she smiled, offering her hand.

"James Wilson," Wilson shook the offered hand.

"So he likes the lovely Dr. Cameron doesn't he?" Pippa asked.

"Well that didn't take long. Yes I believe he does," Wilson replied, a little surprised.

"I'm gonna try and hook them up," Pippa stated. "Want to help?" she asked Wilson.

"Oh I am so in!" he told her grinning. "But don't tell him," he jerked his thumb in the direction of House who was listening to his I-pod and playing air-piano.

"I won't tell if you won't," Pippa replied.

"Deal," Wilson shook Pippa's hand. "Now I'm going to talk him into taking another case," Wilson stood and walked into House's office.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"Are you British?" Pippa asked Robert Chase when he'd finished talking to Eric Foreman about his latest girlfriend.

"No Australian," Chase answered.

"Eh same difference," Pippa shrugged. "So you guys want to help me hook up House and Cameron?" she asked.

"Australia and Britain aren't the same!" Chase replied indignantly.

"Sorry. Are you in or out?" Pippa asked.

"I don't know. What are you planning to do?" Foreman asked.

"I won't get you in trouble I swear. You guys will mostly be needed for brainstorming and distraction purposes," Pippa told them.

"Yeah, alright. I'm in," Chase told her.

"I guess I'll help you," Foreman told her.

"Excellent," Pippa drawled, tapping her fingers together in her best impression of Mr. Burns. "So the only person left to talk into helping is Dr. Cuddy and maybe that Stacy chick he used to date," she thought out loud.

"What about Wilson? He'd love a piece in this," Foreman was becoming more interested as Pippa's enthusiasm started to show through.

"I asked him first," Pippa winked.

"Oh this is going to be so much fun. Just think of all the things we can do to them!" Pippa said giddily.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"Hey House, have you seen Pippa?" Chase asked.

"No. Go away," House didn't look up from his gameboy.

"Ok," Chase turned to leave.

"Wait! Why do you want to know where Pippa is? What's going on?" House asked, hauling himself out of his chair and hobbling toward Chase.

"Nothing. She was telling me a story before but I had to check a patient," Chase lied quickly. He walked away before House's built in lie-detector was set off. He rushed around a corner and caught sight of Pippa talking to Cameron in one of the empty rooms. He caught her eye as he walked past and winked before heading to get a cup of coffee. Pippa joined him ten minutes later.

"Well that was a very enlightening conversation," she grinned sneakily. "You want to tell me something?" she asked on seeing Chase's grin.

"I have an idea…"

-HOUSE M.D.-

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	3. Plan A

Title: Playing Matchmaker

Author: Ebony-Jayne

Notes: The first plan. Pippa and Chase put the first of their plans into action…

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show or the storylines on the show. I do, however, own the characters that I make up so please don't steal them. Any resemblance to anyone or anyplace is a coincidence.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Chapter Three: Plan A

"Hey Uncle Greg!" Pippa called from her bedroom.

"What?" He yelled back.

"Get your ass off the couch and into the shower! We need to leave soon!" Pippa struggled to reach behind her to do up her dress. It was a struggle but she got it. Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital was having a Christmas party and Pippa, Chase, Foreman, Wilson and Cuddy were planning to get House and Cameron to dance. House was not at all keen on the idea of the party. The only reason he had agreed to go was that Wilson had reminded him that one hot young cardiologist had a tendency to get absolutely wasted and 'get the twins out'. He had appealed to House's blatantly perverted side and had predictably come out victorious. It was now 7.30pm and they had to be on the road by 8.00pm. And House still hadn't had a shower. He was at present time lying on his couch with baby Sophie snuggled on his chest. Pippa had felt kind of privileged when she had seen the two of them. House rarely let anyone see his soft side.

"Why do I have to go to the stupid party anyway?" he whined as Pippa walked into the lounge. "All that happens is I get drunk and piss Cuddy off and earn a month worth of extra clinic duty. Every year…" he muttered.

"Well don't get drunk then Uncle Greg," Pippa picked up the baby off his chest and prodded him in the ribs. "Come on get up. You're going to the party so you can see Leslie Mayfield's tits and discuss them in detail with Wilson remember?" she told him. He grudgingly got up and with a lot more mumbling and muttering went to take a shower.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"Oh wow Allison I love that dress!" Pippa told Cameron as they met her, Wilson, Foreman and Chase in the parking lot.

"I was thinking the same about yours. You don't look bad for having had a baby three weeks ago," Cameron commented.

"Oh don't be fooled. I can hardly breathe in this dress. It's the only thing holding everything where it should be," Pippa grinned. "OW! Uncle Greg!" House had jabbed her hard in the back with his cane and was staring at her with a look of disgust on his face. "Ok, Ok I'll stop," she raised her hands in defeat. She turned to Chase "So Robert, are you going to dance with me tonight?" she asked flirtatiously. She promptly received another hard jab. "OW! Seriously House, you do that one more time and so help me god I will shove that cane so far up your-,"

"Welcome to the party," Cuddy joined the group, cutting Pippa off before she could tell her Uncle the potential destination of his cane. They had reached the door now and Cuddy ushered them all inside.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"Why do I have to dance? I came here to get drunk and see jugs," House asked Pippa as he awkwardly danced with her.

"Because I want to dance with you," Pippa sighed. Looking after her Uncle was harder than looking after her baby. "I hope Sophie's ok," she said as that thought passed through her head.

"I hope that poor babysitter is ok taking care of that screaming demon child," House retorted petulantly.

"Same screaming demon child you were cuddling on the couch before?" Pippa teased.

"Shut up," House replied swiftly.

"Hey swap partners," Chase had come up beside them. House had barely had time to process the question when he realized that Chase and Pippa were dancing away from him and he had a very nervous looking Allison Cameron in his arms. The first thought that went though his mind was how incredible she smelled.

"Uh hi," she said nervously.

"Hello. What the hell was that?" he asked.

"I guess he wanted to dance with Pippa," Cameron shrugged.

"Yeah right. If he so much as lays a hand-," House began.

"He won't. He's not like that," Cameron said immediately.

"Oh you'd be the one to know," House said sarcastically.

"You're a real bastard you know that?" Cameron wrenched out of his grasp and stalked away.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"They're talking. I guess that's a good thing," Chase said as he watched House and Cameron over Pippa's shoulder. Pippa turned them around so she could see the two doctors.

"Or not," she grimaced. Chase let her go and turned just in time to see Cameron stalk away from House.

"Looks as though we're going to have to come up with a plan B then," Chase sighed.

"I think I may just have that plan," Pippa grinned evilly. "I just have to look at it a bit further before I share," she told Chase when he looked at her expectantly.

-HOUSE M.D.-

The rest of the night passed quickly. House didn't wind up with an extra month worth of clinic duty for being drunk and disorderly as Cuddy was as bad, worse even, than he was. Leslie Mayfield had the 'twins' out on three occasions that Pippa saw and probably three more times that she hadn't seen. Pippa had spent the night dancing with the guys and Cameron –who had quickly gotten over her fight with House- and they finally decided to head home at about 1.30am.

"I'm ok to drive really- Whoa! Where did that step come from?" Cuddy had just tripped over her own foot and landed in a heap at Pippa's feet.

"That wasn't a step Lisa that was your foot," Pippa told her as she lugged her back into a standing position. Cameron was trying hard not to crack up beside her.

"Oh," Cuddy seemed to contemplate this. Then she turned to look at Pippa, a stupid grin plastered on her face. "I'm really drunk aren't I?" she asked.

"Oh yeah. With the amount you drank tonight you probably will be for the next three days- Shit," Pippa cursed as Cuddy stumbled again and she struggled to hold her up. She finally decided to pull Cuddy's arm around her own shoulder so she could support her weight better. "Come on. Allison's going to drive you home."

"I can drive! I'm fine," Cuddy argued.

"Sweetie, you are so, totally wasted I doubt you'd be able to find your car let alone drive it," Pippa told her. Cameron did burst out laughing then.

"Oh, ok then," Cuddy agreed grinning stupidly at Cameron.

-HOUSE M.D.-

As Pippa, Cuddy and Cameron were making their way to Cameron's car Wilson was attempting to lead House to his corvette so Pippa could drive him home.

"No way is Pip driving my 'vette," he slurred. "Don't get me wrong, I love Pip but I trust no-one in my 'vette. Did Cuddy see me like this? How many months of extra clinic duty did I get?" he asked. "That woman is such an attention whore. Did she make a scene?" he asked turning his head comically to look Wilson in the eye.

"Man she's as drunk as you are," Wilson told him.

"Good. Remind me of that next year when I'm sober," House told him.

"Next year?" Chase couldn't help but grin.

"Did you see how much I drank tonight? I'm gonna be drunk for a loooong time my friend," House told him. Chase laughed and then quickly ducked House's cane that he was waving around.

"Stop waving that around. You'll take someone's eye out," Wilson said exasperatedly, pulling House in the right direction as he turned the opposite way to where his car was parked.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Sorry it took a while. Better late than never though right?

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	4. Plan B

Title: Playing Matchmaker

Author: Ebony-Jayne

Notes: Plan B is put into effect. Will it work better than Plan A?

- Sorry about the lack of updates. Fanfic has to take a backseat to work because sadly my car insurance doesn't pay itself.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show or the storylines on the show. I do, however, own the characters that I make up so please don't steal them. Any resemblance to anyone or anyplace is a coincidence.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Chapter Four: Plan B

Cameron was reading a book when her cell phone started buzzing on the table beside her. She glanced at the number on the screen. It was House's home number.

"Allison Cameron," she answered.

"Hey Allison," Pippa's voice sounded on the other end of the phone. Cameron was kind of disappointed even though she'd known it wouldn't be him.

"Hey Pippa, what's up?" she asked.

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to grab that coffee we were talking about the other day? If you came over to Uncle Greg's I know a nice little place within walking distance," Pippa told her.

"I'd love to. What time will I meet you there?" Cameron asked.

"How does two-thirty sound?" Pippa asked.

"Sounds good. I'll see you then," Cameron agreed.

"Ok. Bye," They hung up and Cameron sighed. She knew exactly how House was going to react when she turned up on his doorstep once again.

-HOUSE M.D.-

After she hung up the phone Pippa grinned deviously to herself. Now she had about an hour and a half to put her plan into action. This plan was going to be good. She dug through her wardrobe trying to find something to wear that Sophie hadn't spit up on. It was quite the task but eventually she settled for a pair of tidy jeans and a dark purple fleece sweatshirt. She attempted to drag a brush through her sandy hair which resembled straw at that point in time. Once she had got all of the tangles out and pulled her hair into a ponytail she realized it was time Sophie had her next feed. And time to put her plan into action. Luckily Sophie was pretty hungry that day so feeding her only took half an hour instead of the usual forty-five minutes leaving plenty of time for her to get things in order. After she'd burped the baby she carried her out to the living room where her unsuspecting Uncle was about to fall asleep in his favorite reclining chair.

"Hey, look after bubs for a bit?" she asked offering the baby up.

"Whatever," House mumbled. Pippa placed her baby in the crook of her Uncles arm and tucked a blanket around her. She stepped back for a moment just staring at the two of them. When her eyes came to rest on her baby she sighed and shook her head. She still didn't know how the hell she and her lowlife ex-boyfriend could have made something so beautiful.

"Thanks Uncle Greg," Pippa leaned over and kissed House's cheek.

"Whatever," repeated his earlier mumble. Pippa laughed a little before deciding to take a quick shower before Cameron arrived.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Cameron had just raised her fist to knock on House's door when it opened revealing Pippa's smiling face.

"Hey Allison," she said quietly. "Come in," she opened the door wider so that Cameron could enter. "I'd be quiet though. He's sleeping and he hates to be disturbed," she advised. Cameron grinned, nodding and stepped inside. He eyes scanned the room immediately settling on House sleeping in his chair, little Sophie nestled comfortably in the crook of his right arm. She watched for a second as House's chest rose up and down, slowly and evenly, creating a lulling rhythm for the sleeping baby.

"That's so cute," Cameron whispered to Pippa.

"I know. I'm really tempted to take a photo on my phone and email it to everyone at the hospital," Pippa whispered back. "I won't though because Sophie needs a Mommy," she added. "Ok I'm willing to bet she needs a clean diaper about know so watch out because he's going to wake up," Pippa warned. She walked over to the chair. "Ok. I'm going to take baby back now. She needs a clean diaper before Allison and I go out," Pippa said leaning over her Uncle. House's eyes snapped open at the name Allison. He glanced over, his eyes landing on Cameron.

"Why are you at my house again?" he asked.

"I'm meeting your niece here. We're going to get coffee," Cameron shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze.

"Hello? Could you give me my baby back?" Pippa interrupted. House released the baby as if it burned him. Pippa smiled smugly to herself as she carried Sophie to her room to change her. As she left the room she heard House order Cameron to bring him his bottle of vicodin off the piano. "What did your last slave die of!" Pippa called back into the living room.

"Disobedience!" he yelled back.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Cameron stood awkwardly waiting for Pippa to come back out. She glanced over at House every few seconds knowing his eyes were fixed on her.

"What you saw here today doesn't go out of this room. I have a reputation to uphold in the hospital. If it gets out that I let my great niece sleep on me then all hell could break loose," House told Cameron in exaggerated horror.

"Right. Wouldn't want anyone to think you're less of an ass would we?" Cameron rolled her eyes.

"Hell no! You can sit down you know," he told her. She gingerly took a seat on his couch. He must have noticed her hesitation because when she looked over he was smirking at her.

"It doesn't bite you know," he cheeked her. She ignored him.

"So, what's it like having a baby in the house? Sleepless nights, dirty diapers," she asked throwing him a smug look.

"Well I don't sleep much at night anyway and I can handle a dirty diaper or two. I'm a man," he announced the last part mock proudly.

"That's my point," Cameron replied quick as a flash.

"Oooh. I love when you try to be nasty," Cameron was surprised when a genuine smile broke out at the last second. She smiled back.

"Well we're finally ready to go," Pippa announced and she wheeled Sophie in her stroller into the room. She smiled brightly. Phase one of Plan B was successful.

-HOUSE M.D.-

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	5. Plan B, Phase 2

Title: Playing Matchmaker

Author: Ebony-Jayne

Notes: Phase Two of Plan B begins. Will it be as successful as Phase One?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show or the storylines on the show. I do, however, own the characters that I make up so please don't steal them. Any resemblance to anyone or anyplace is a coincidence.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Chapter Five: Plan B, Part 2

"Ok. So when I go for my appointment I'm going to leave bubs with Uncle Greg. Sophie will be about ready for a feed and I'll 'accidentally' neglect to inform him that there is a bottle in the bag. He'll never figure that out. You guys just clear off if he asks for help. Allison usually has a coffee about this time everyday so hopefully she'll be here," Pippa stopped to breathe. "So, everybody got that?" she asked the three guys in front of her.

"You are scarily good at this," Foreman said, an amused smile was pasted firmly on his face.

"I'm related to Greg," Pippa deadpanned. "Everybody got that?" she repeated her earlier question. All of the guys nodded. "Fantastic. So two thirty then," Pippa wandered back into House's office and began sorting through some files that she had put aside earlier.

"She is scarily, scarily good at this isn't she?" Wilson said as he and Chase and Foreman watched her sorting.

"Definitely House's niece," Foreman laughed before heading off to find something to do, Chase in tow.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"Doesn't he get angry when you sort out his files?" Cameron asked Pippa as she wandered into House's office. She noticed Sophie was awake in her port-a-crib and leaned over to pick the baby up.

"Look at how they are organized," Pippa answered. Cameron did as she was told and looked at the files.

"What the hell?" she frowned. She had no idea what system Pippa had used to organize House's files.

"Exactly. The 'What the Hell' filing system," Pippa could see Cameron's brain working overtime trying to figure it out. "Oh sweetie. Don't try to figure it out. You'll just give yourself a headache. I can do it because I think like he does," she smiled.

"I guess you do," Cameron shook her head slightly. "I think someone needs a clean diaper over here," she said wrinkling her nose.

"Ugh, better hand her over again then," Pippa held out her arms.

"Yeah. I should go and finish my cleaning. Did you know that we have no patients right now?" Cameron asked.

"That'll be why Chase and Foreman are hanging around like bored teenagers then," Pippa joked.

"Yeah. That'll be it. That'll also be why House is nowhere to be seen. Cuddy will be after him to do his clinic duty so he'll be hiding," Cameron smiled. Pippa laughed as they parted ways.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"Hey! You did choose to remember!" Pippa grinned when her uncle limped into his office at exactly 2.15pm.

"Of course I did. I always remember all of my appointments," House told her, an exaggerated honest look plastered on his face.

"You just want an excuse to get out of the clinic," Pippa told him.

"Me? Get out of Clinic duty? I would never do such a thing," House smiled sweetly.

"Of course you wouldn't. You're just such an angel, the perfect example for the other doctors," Pippa couldn't help but smile. "I'll be back soon." Pippa leaned into the port-a-crib and kissed Sophie's forehead. "You scream nice and loud for Uncle Greg won't you bubs?" she whispered.

-HOUSE M.D.-

House watched as his niece headed out of his office and toward the stairs. He had the strangest feeling that she was up to something but he had no idea what. He turned to look at the tiny, helpless little human being sleeping in her crib. As much as he hated to admit it he had a major soft spot for it. It's tiny little fingers and toes, and it's little round face. If he really wanted to be honest with himself he had a soft spot for babies in general. He also had to admit that when he had seen Cameron playing with the baby earlier he had wanted nothing more than to walk over there and kiss her senseless. There was just something about that picture…He quickly banished that thought. Too much honesty for one thinking session. It was poisoning the room. He looked up and saw that Cameron had come into the diagnostics lounge for her daily cup of coffee. He watched her for a bit as she bustled around making coffee. He was interrupted when Sophie stirred and started to grizzle. He bent down and with some difficulty picked the baby up. He hated that damn port-a-crib and Pippa knew it. He rocked Sophie for a bit in the hope that she would go back to sleep. He had no such luck. As soon as the baby was settled in his arms she started to grizzle louder. He started to jiggle her a little, talking softly as he did.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Cameron finished making coffee for herself and House and as she walked into his office she heard him softly talking to the baby.

"Sssh, Little Demon. You're going to get us found out in a minute if you don't be quiet. Great Uncle Greg has a reputation around here," he told the baby who had stopped crying and was looking at him attentively. Cameron smiled.

"I made you a coffee," she said softly. She walked over and set it on his desk, making sure to put it far enough back that he couldn't accidentally knock it over.

"Thanks," House said absently, shocking Cameron slightly. Sophie had really started to scream now and House was getting agitated. "Sssh, sssh, sssh," he jiggled her a little. "Damn you Pippa," he cussed lightly.

"She sounds hungry," Cameron stated.

"Aha!" House said triumphantly. "Pip expresses milk so that she can feed Sophie at work. There should be a bottle or two in the bag," House told Cameron.

"I'll heat that up then," Cameron said. She dug through the bag and found three bottles in the end pocket. She pulled one out and was about to go heat it up when House spoke.

"You know how to do it? Put some hot water in a container and put the bottle in it. Should take about five minutes to heat through," he instructed.

"Ok," Cameron hid her smile as she went off to heat the bottle.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Five minutes later Cameron took the warmed bottle into the office. House had rolled up his sleeves and when Cameron handed him the bottle he squirted some of the liquid on the inside of his wrist. After he was sure the bottle was the right temperature House settled back in his chair and started feeding it to Sophie.

"Ah. Magic," he told the little girl.

"She's so cute," Cameron had retrieved her coffee and was watching House feed Sophie.

"She's not so bad," House glared at Cameron as he said it.

"I won't tell," she smiled at him.

"Better not. If you want to live to see tomorrow," House threatened.

"Can I feed her some of that?" Cameron asked, ignoring the threat.

"Sure, great idea, save my reputation a little," House carefully stood up mindful of his leg. "Sit," he ordered Cameron, gesturing with some difficulty at his chair.

"Ok," Cameron came over and sat on the chair. She held her arms out and House leaned over carefully transferring the baby from his arms to hers. As he leaned back he realized that Cameron's long hair was getting in the way and she couldn't move properly to shift it. House moved around behind her and took a deep breath before he reached down and gathered all of the hair off of her neck and rearranged it carefully down her back. As he sat down in the chair on the other side of his desk he was internally reeling. He knew that the feel of her silky hair flowing over his fingers, the smell of her and the feel of her soft cheek brushing against his as he handed her the baby would feature prominently in his dreams that night. 'You are in so much trouble my friend,' the voice in his head -the one that sounded suspiciously like Wilson- told him. He almost groaned out loud. Trouble was an understatement.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Sorry about the delay again. I'm a busy little bee at the moment. Hopefully I can actually finish this story soon. Reviews make my day (hint, hint ;-p).

Also I live in New Zealand and just recently saw the episode where they reveal that House is an only child. So we'll just pretend that that never happened…

Next Chapter: Will Pip etc have to move onto Phase Three or will house and Cameron get there themselves first?


	6. Phase Three?

Title: Playing Matchmaker

Author: Ebony-Jayne

Notes: Will Pip and the guys have to move onto Phase Three or will house and Cameron get there themselves first?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show or the storylines on the show. I do, however, own the characters that I make up so please don't steal them. Any resemblance to anyone or anyplace is a coincidence.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Chapter Six: Phase Three?

House hobbled up the hallway to the door of Cameron's apartment. He hesitated before raising his fist and knocking hard. His heart was beating so loudly in his chest he didn't hear the footsteps on the other side of the door and so he knocked again. The door opened a few seconds later to reveal Allison Cameron clad in only a fluffy pink bath robe. She had apparently just gotten out of the shower.

"House!" Cameron squeaked in surprise. "Dammit," she cursed pulling her robe tighter. She muttered something incoherent. "Well what do you want?" she asked impatiently. House's eyes moved up and down her body a few time making her feel all hot and prickly under his intense gaze. "What do you want House?" she repeated her earlier question. This time House answered her.

"You," he growled. He stepped forward, wrapping his left arm around her waist and kissed her hard. She hesitated briefly before kissing him back. She pulled him further into her apartment and pushed the door closed with her foot. House turned them around and pushed her back against the wall. He pulled his lips away from hers and moved them to her neck. Her smooth skin was warm and still damp from the shower and it tasted so sweet. House wondered what this would mean for their professional relationship, but when his hands found the flimsy belt that was holding her robe together that thought took the opportunity to make its escape. Just as he was about to undo the belt he felt a shot of pain run up his leg. It hurt like hell and he yelled out dropping to the floor. He could hear Cameron repeatedly calling out his name and everything began to go hazy. Through the pain and the haze he realized that Cameron's voice had morphed into Pippa's.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"Greg! Uncle Greg!" he felt her hands, one on his shoulder and one on his cheek. "House, wake up!" Pippa commanded. He opened his eyes to find Pippa standing over his bed looking panicked. She turned and picked up his vicodin bottle with one hand while she ran the back of the other over her eyes. She turned back and handed him the vicodin. He took the pill and chewed it slowly. Pippa had turned around again and was running her hand over her eyes again. House sat up slowly and grabbed for his cane. He stood and walked the few steps to his niece.

"Pip?" he said hoarsely. She stepped away from him. "Pippa." She stepped away again and House could see her shoulders shaking. "Phillippa turn around," Pippa finally turned around and House saw the tears running down her cheeks.

"You scared the hell out of me," she told him shakily. House pulled her into an awkward hug.

"Damn leg. That was one hot dream I was in the middle of," he said, patting Pippa's back. She started to laugh and wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"I'm sorry to hear it," she grinned.

"Not as sorry as I am. I swear He is getting a real kick out of this," House said, glaring upward in mock anger. Sophie chose that moment to make her presence known and Pippa went to tend to her, leaving House alone with his thoughts.

-HOUSE M.D.-

"So what's Phase Three?" Chase asked when he had told Pippa about the previous days events and she had told them of House's 'hot dream'.

"There isn't one yet. For now we wait. Give them some time to think about this. We don't want to push them so hard that they fall over," Pippa told him.

"House is getting a little suspicious anyway," Wilson piped up.

"Well more so than usual," Pippa agreed. Chase looked disappointed. "But I'm all out right now so start thinking about phase three," she told him. He seemed to brighten up at that prospect.

"What are you guys talking about?" Cameron asked as she breezed into the room.

"Cuddy tearing House a new one in the middle of the clinic this morning," Foreman answered without looking up from his newspaper.

"What for this time?" Cameron asked, pausing in her journey to the coffee pot.

"Apparently he told some guy that his wife was cheating on him," Wilson replied.

"Again?" Cameron asked incredulously.

"Yeah. Cuddy went absolutely mental in the middle of the clinic in front of everybody there. And in typical House fashion he stands there and pushes her buttons to get her even angrier," Pippa added. She caught Foreman's eye and mouthed 'nice save' while Cameron poured coffee into a mug. He winked back.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Ten minutes later Cameron was telling Pippa about some of the things House had done in the clinic when he limped in quickly, followed closely by a string of vicious cursing and then a very angry Cuddy. Apparently he was still pushing her buttons by getting away from her. After Cuddy had finished reaming him out she stalked away and House let out an exaggerated sigh of relief.

"Thank god that's over," he told them.

"Like you didn't enjoy every second of that," Cameron stated, smirking at him. She was the only one that didn't notice that House didn't make eye contact when he answered her. Chase, Foreman, Wilson and Pippa all looked at each other and smiled, acknowledging that small victory. As he walked past Pippa on his way out of the room Wilson leaned over and whispered: "Guess we know who his hot dream was about then."

Pippa fought back a laugh as she watched her uncle try to look at anything but the pretty immunologist sitting at the table. She wondered idly if they would even need a phase three or if the two of them would do it themselves. She hoped they would need another plan because all of this matchmaking stuff was just too much fun. She could see that Chase was thinking the same thing and she shot him a devious grin behind her uncles back. Yep this was just too much fun…

-HOUSE M.D.-

Reviews, reviews, reviews. I love them and I live for them. Not sure exactly how happy I am with this chapter so I may rework it later (let me know if you think I should, or if you think I should leave it as is and get on with the story) but for now…Did I get you with the dream sequence? Did I? Did I? Even if I redo the chapter I'm keeping that bit.

Next Chapter: I'm not sure yet so watch this space ;-p


	7. Sprung

Title: Playing Matchmaker

Author: Ebony-Jayne

Notes: Pippa and the guys run into some trouble during Phase Three…

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show or the storylines on the show. I do, however, own the characters that I make up so please don't steal them. Any resemblance to anyone or anyplace is a coincidence.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Chapter Seven: Sprung

"So what do you reckon? Do you think they'll go for it?" Cuddy asked Pippa. She jostled a slightly grizzly Sophie on her knee.

"I really don't know. I hope they will but I honestly don't know," Pippa replied, reaching over to put a pink pacifier in the baby's mouth.

"Have you got anymore plans yet?" Cuddy asked.

"Not a single one. It's Chase's turn to cook something up. I'm all out at the moment," Pippa grinned.

"Oh come on Pip it was your scheming little brain that started this whole thing. Surely the master planner isn't out of plans!" Cuddy grinned back.

"The master planner is currently suffering from a bad case of baby-brain. She can't think of very much else at all," Pippa rolled her eyes. Cuddy laughed. "It's not funny! Yesterday I actually put the remote in the fridge. Uncle Greg thinks it's hilarious and is never going to let me hear the end of it," Pippa whined. She growled when Cuddy laughed harder and leaned over to pinch her arm hard.

"Ow!" Cuddy yelped.

"Oh I should have warned you. I'm not above physical violence," Pippa replied with a smirk. Cuddy put on her best death glare – the one she reserved for House – but Pippa just shrugged it off. "So anyway…"

-HOUSE M.D.-

'_Well, well, well. So that's what they're all up to,'_ House smirked to himself as he listened to the tape. His niece was playing matchmaker again. _'I should have known,'_ he thought to himself. Matchmaker was Pippa's favourite game to play. He laughed evilly to himself. What Pippa had seemingly forgotten was that he had a favourite game too. Revenge. He rewound the tape and taped over it with the silence of his office. He didn't want it falling into the wrong hands. Grabbing his ball off his desk House leaned back in his chair. He threw the ball up and caught it over and over as he tossed ideas around in his brain. Soon he had formulated the perfect plan. Now he just had to put it into effect…

-HOUSE M.D.-

"THEY WHAT!" Cameron shrieked shrilly.

"Keep your voice down," House growled. "Do you want them to know that we know?" he asked.

"Yes I do want them to know. Then they'll know why I'm kicking their a-," Cameron had stopped yelling but was still talking loudly.

"SSSSHHHH," House hissed. "Kicking asses is no fun. Revenge is fun. That's what we want. Revenge. They sneak around behind our backs we sneak around behind theirs: Quid Pro Quo. Phillippa House isn't going to know what hit her," House grinned maniacally.

"Should I worry about this?" Cameron asked with a sigh.

"Most likely," House responded. "Now this is what we're going to do…"

-HOUSE M.D.-

Pippa was walking along that corridor toward the diagnostics lounge when she saw House and Cameron in House's office. They were standing toe to toe and looked to be arguing heatedly. Pippa moved so she was out of their sight and watched. She soon got the shock of her life. The two were mere inches from each others faces when House opened his mouth to say something and Cameron suddenly leaned forward and kissed him hard. Pippa watched, shocked, as her Uncle quickly took charge by grabbing Cameron's hips and pulling her into him. Pippa shook her head hard to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She wasn't. She quietly left her post to tell the others what she had just witnessed.

-HOUSE M.D.-

House waited until Pippa was out of sight before pulling back. He caught sight of Cameron's face as he did. Her lips were slightly kiss swollen, her cheeks were flushed pink and she still had her eyes closed.

"Is she gone?" she asked breathlessly, her eyes fluttering open.

"Yeah," House suddenly realized that she was still pressed tightly up against him and let her go, stepping back.

"Think she fell for it?" Cameron asked.

"By the way she took off I'd say she does," House responded.

"Good," Cameron looked awkwardly at her hands. "Uh I'm going to check on a patient," she quickly left the room, leaving House with his thoughts. He watched her until she was out of sight and then flopped onto his chair. He could still feel her soft lips on his, still taste her.

"I am so screwed," he muttered aloud to himself.

-HOUSE M.D.-

Sorry this chapter is a little short and a long time coming. Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing it and has put up with my procrastination. I hope you enjoy this one.


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